


yippee ki-yay motherfucker!

by bkgverse



Category: My Hero Academia, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: BNHA chatfic, Bad Pickup Lines, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Confused Deku, Everyone is an oblivious idiot, F/F, F/M, Fuck Endeavor Lives, Humor, Jealous Todoroki Shouto, Kinda, M/M, Party Games, Pining Todoroki Shouto, Sleepovers, Some angst, Truth or Dare, bnha crack fic, crackhead babies, deku n baku are on decent terms, dont take this seriously, kaminari and sero are the biggest dorks, lmao todo is so gone for deku its not even funny anymore, mineta can suck my donkeykong deadass, mineta dead, nah fr tho like mans needs to sort that shit out, poor uraraka, some ppl are mega straight, some relationships are established, theyre all dorks, theyre around 17-18 yrs old, theyre in their 3rd year, this is crack but like kinda fluffy idek bruh, uraraka is happy at the end tho dw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:35:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24647305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bkgverse/pseuds/bkgverse
Summary: todoroki shouto -> bakugou katsukigordon ramsey: icyhotsonburnt: go away im busygordon ramsey: bruh, if i walk in there and you're tryna touch yourself to the ugly ass green teletubby one more time, imma fucking burn ur dick off bitchsonburnt: is that a threat or a promisegordon ramsey: OI SHUT THE FUCK UP AND OPEN THE GODDAMN DOORsonburnt: no bakugou, stop knocking on my door im busygordon ramsey: u fucker guess imma open this shit myselfgordon ramsey: WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU NAKED CUDDLING A PILLOW WITH FUCKING DEKUS FACE ON IT FUCKTARDsonburnt: why did you text me that, im right here??"DIE!!"----------or, the students of class 3-A are all going through their own awakenings in unique ways and todoroki & bakugou especially don’t know how to deal.
Relationships: Amajiki Tamaki/Toogata Mirio, Ashido Mina/Shinsou Hitoshi, Asui Tsuyu & Uraraka Ochako, Awase Yousetsu/Uraraka Ochako, Bakugou Katsuki & Uraraka Ochako, Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Hagakure Tooru/Ojiro Mashirao, Jirou Kyouka & Kaminari Denki, Jirou Kyouka/Yaoyorozu Momo, Kaminari Denki & Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki/Sero Hanta, Kirishima Eijirou & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku/Uraraka Ochako, Todoroki Shouto & Yaoyorozu Momo, its more for funsies tho, mineta & death bc fuck him, one sided aoyama/sero hanta
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	yippee ki-yay motherfucker!

**Author's Note:**

> here are the character usernames:
> 
> bakugou - gordon ramsey  
> kirishima - baby shark  
> midoriya - dekuwu  
> todoroki - sonburnt - blossom  
> uraraka - buzz lightyear  
> asui - pepe  
> momo - mom  
> ojiro - mmm mOnKeY  
> kaminari- shaggy - pikachu  
> mina- lazytownstephanie  
> hagakure - john cena  
> sero - discount spiderman  
> jirou - scooby doo - ash ketchum  
> iida - sonic x2  
> aoyama - james charles  
> satou - sugar daddy  
> kouda - snow white  
> mineta- serial grapist (as it should be)  
> tokoyami - jimmy falcon  
> shouji - machamp  
> shinsou - snorlax  
> tamaki - octopussy  
> toogata - flat stanley

minuted before disaster struck, izuku was just laying in his dorm, adding a character trait to the stungun hero: chargebolt's profile, when he heard weird noises coming in from next door. 

brows furrowed, izuku tried his best to concentrate on adding the finishing touches to his notes, playing the noise off as someone stubbing their toe. however, the noises didn't stop at all. the high pitched noises started to resemble moans to izuku and at this point, he was no longer working on his hero notebook but rather sitting on his bed, with a red blush dusting his cheeks.

"jesus christ, hagakure and ojiro are extra loud today." he whispered to himself. the two had recenty gotten together, and izuku couldn't blame them for wanting to get a little frisky, as a growing boy himself, izuku couldn't lie and say he never thought of doing the same with his girlfriend, ochako,

a loud ding snapped him out his thoughts and he sighed and turned his phone over. the noises weren't getting any quieter and the group chat was blowing up for seemingly the same reason izuku was now contemplating cutting his ears off and pulling a van gogh. 

**my hero acadummies**

**sonic x2:** ojiro and hagakure, it is extremely disrespectful to make so much noise while other students are trying to study. please try to keep your coital noises to a minimum as we do not wish to hear such things. you guys are awfully loud today.

 **serial grapist:** nah keep it up, hagakure babe you sound really hot. maybe next time i could replace ojiro ;)

 **gordon ramsey:** SHUT IT YOU PURPLE NUTSACK HEADED TWAT

* **gordon ramsey** has blocked **serial grapist** from **my hero acadummies** *

 **mom:** good riddance.

 **mmm mOnKeY:** dude, i swear its not us wtf

 **john cena:** yeah, he never makes me excited enough to sound like that

 **shaggy:** o shit lmfao

 **discount spiderman** : damn bruh you really gonna sit there and take that

 **mmm mOnKeY:** babe :(

 **john cena:** i was jk haha but fr whos making all that noise

 **shaggy:** kinda sounds like bakugous twink ass if im gonna be honest

 **discount spiderman:** maybe he finally started an onlyfans account

 **gordon ramsey:** I WILL FUCKING RIP YOUR BIG ASS HEADS OFF YOUR GODDAMN UNDERDEVELOPED CHICKEN SCRATCH LOOKING BODIES IF YOU FUCKING DARE CALL ME TWINK ONE MORE FUCKING TIME

 **gordon ramsey:** FUCKING BDSM BITCH AND PIKACUNT BETTER FUCKING RUN BEFORE I COME OVER AND BLAST YALL ASSES

 **baby shark:** calm down bakubro lmao they were kidding. besides, u aren't actually dating anyone right :(

 **gordon ramsey:** do i fucking look like someone whos tied down, hair for brains?

 **babky shark:** nah but u got me :)

 **gordon ramsey:** tf thats supposed to mean kirishima

 **shaggy:** gay

 **lazytownstephanie:** dumbasses

 **gordon ramsey:** yk what, i hope one of u fuckers is the one making all that noise so i can track u the fuck down and beat you to a pulp :)

 **discount spiderman:** oh shit he pulled out the smiley face, babe we gotta run

 **shaggy:** babe? 

**discount spiderman:** no homo lmao NOW FUCKING RUN SPARKY BOOM BOOM MAN IS RIGHT BEHIFVFIUVU

 **shaggy:** oh my fcking god he fuckin dead

 **shaggy:** riperoni to a homie,, u'll b missed 

**gordon ramsey:** ur next :)

 **shaggy:** shIT

 **baby shark:** lmfao

 **jimmy falcon:** i hate to disrupt this mad banquet of feelings going on here, as i too struggle with them, but the noises keep getting louder. i am assuming it is uraraka and midoriya as they are the only couple to not have responded yet.

 **sonic x2:** excellent deduction, tokayami! uraraka and midoriya, i expected better from you guys. please, keep the noises down to a minimum as there is a test tomorrow and many of us would like to study in peace.

izuku's face heated up reading tokoyami and iida's suggestions. he and uraraka were yes in fact dating, but they were nowhere near that stage yet. his feelings were still a little bit confusing as they were a relatively new couple. besides, uraraka was hanging out with asui at the moment to there was no way it could be them. he decided it was best to tell the group chat so but has he was about to type something, he heard an even louder moan come from down the hall. were the people who were making these noises on the same floor as him?

"oh my god, did aoyama somehow trick sero to come to his room and watch porn?" izuku thought to himself, but he quickly shook that thought out of his head. sero replied too much on the groupchat for it to be him and it was deduced that the noises sounded like a girl and boy. he looked down at his phone to see that asui said something about the previous accusations herself.

 **pepe:** haha guys uraraka read the chat and now shes floating in the air all red faced

 **buzz lightyear:** iida-kun! deku and i are not like that yet, please stop :(

 **dekuwu:** i think i heard the noises coming from down the hall tho let me go check

 **james charles:** it is most definitely not me, mon cherie.

 **baby shark:** wait, if its not you then... wait nah theres no way lmfao

" todoroki?!" izuku screamed, peering though the bi-colored boy's doorway. todoroki was focused on his screen whispering to himself, "grow, goddammit!" and izuku had never expected to see such a thing in his life.

todoroki quickly whipped around, tears threatening to run down his face while facing izuku, who stood there jaw gapping. he had never seen his best friend look so distraught, and it was an especially weird sight to see him nearly cry while watching porn. was he finally having a breakdown? 

" uh, todoroki, you okay?" izuku asked the other, concern lacing his face. yeah, it was weird that the porn was still playing in the background but his best friend looked like he was about to burst to tears any moment so izuku found his way to him, careful not to touch him in case the guy was jerking off and he was crying because izuku caught him in the act. 

" i don't understand why it won't grow? the internet said it grows when it seems 'arousing stimuli' but all i can see are water balloons and it won't grow!" with this declaration, tears were fully cascading down the taller boy's face. this was the most emotional izuku had seen todoroki in a while so izuku decided, "hey well fuck it" and went to go hug the other. 

"you're talking about your p-penis right?" izuku didn't mean to stutter but the whole situation threw him completely off. 

"yes. my dad said boys only like girls but i don't think i like girls. thats why i decided to look at this but nothing is helping." he whispered quietly, face nuzzled into izuku's neck. izuku understood what todoroki was trying to get at. the poor guy had an extremely close-minded father and due to his lack of a childhood and understanding that it was okay to love who he loved, this clearly was something that had been bothering him for a bit. izuku continued to hug the boy, slightly blushing at their close proximity. izuku had no idea why he always did that but at this point he just brushed it off and moved away to look directly at todoroki.

"hey listen, its okay to love who you love. its not true that boys can only love girls and you shouldn't have to go through these uh, weird measures, to prove to yourself that you are what your dad wants you to be. fuck endeavor, we promised each other that we would piss him off right? don't listen to his words and know that is is okay to be feeling completely different from what your father believes." izuku offered the other boy a soft smile and wiped off the tears running down his face.

"but, the westboro baptist chrurch sa-" izuku cut todorki off with a quick, "they're dumb motherfuckers, don't listen to them. you do know that not everything on the internet is a fact right?"

todoroki laughed a little at this but resumed to ask, "so martha is not an average dog? and the teleltubbies arent real?"

izuku looked at him completely seriously, "todoroki, those are tv shows that's completely different." 

"oh. so i guess i'm into boys then? the internet said that it was called being gay but i was taught gay meant happy, and i don't think i am that." 

izuku tried not to giggle at his bestfriend being so clueless but he appreciated that todoroki feel comfortable enough to tell him about what was actually going on. 

"don't worry, gay also refers to someone who identifies as a boy and likes other boys." izuku explained. 

"oh, so then i guess i'm gay then."

"welcome to the club, i'm bisexual as fuck dude."

todoroki smiled at that and just as izuku realized that the video was still playing in the background, he got up to turn it off only to see an angry bakugou looking at them from the door.

" of course ti was you and fuck face being fucking pervs and watching fucking pron together." bakugou looked angrily at both of them before stating a quick, "can't believe you didn't even bother to invite me."

izuku laughed at this and of course, bakugou reacted by chasing izuku out the door, palms bursting with flaming sweat.

as for todoroki, he was glad he knew there was someone out there who accepted him but there was still a sharp pain in his chest knowing that the one he felt all those gay feels for would never feel them for him. he turned off the video and checked his phone to see several messages from the groupchat freaking out about the noise. todoroki didn't realize how loud it actually was and realized he probably should explain to the others what was going on.

**my hero acadummies**

**sonic x2:** midoriya, it has been 10 minutes, what happened

 **scooby-doo:** holy shit do you think they roped him in to join

 **baby shark:** nah, thats not rly manly of midoriya, esp considering he has a gf

 **buzz lightyear:** ik he wouldn't do that besides, i think i saw bakugou chasing him down the hallway

 **shaggy:** holy fuck it was bakugou all along

 **shaggy:** man is sero gonna have a field day with this

 **baby shark:** bakubro & a girl??? ur kidding me right :(

 **lazytownnstephanie:** why the long face kiri

 **baby shark:** nah no long face, i just thought he'd tell me

 **lazytowntephanie:** mhm okay

 **gordon ramsey:** oi you fuckers shut up, i aint with no girl, fucking deku was doing some wack shit and i just had to teach him a lesson

 **dekuwu:** no worries guys i'm all good & uraraka ur so cute ofc i'd never

 **gordon ramsey:** get fucking room dweebs

 **mom:** hey the noise stopped

todoroki read over the last message before he hit send on his apology.

 **sonburnt:** i apologize, i did not realize i was making so much noise watching mia khalifa. i turned it off as to not cuase anymore disturbances.

after he hit send, he turned off his phone, not realizing what he said would send the entire group chat into chaos.

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this was my frist bnha fic ever, im so sorry if its ass but honestly im just writing this for fun. please comment any improvements i can make and stay tuned, this chapter was more of like a prologue for everything that is to come. todo is not the only main character, he shares that spot with both bakugou and izuku but you will also hear a lot from the other characters. i hope you enjoyed reading this!  
> 


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